


choking on my words again

by caryophyllaceae (xphantomhive)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, I'M BACK !!!!, Kissing, M/M, anyway this is pretty gay??, but so is everything i write, dumb boys in love, everyone knows dave is in love with john but dave, kissing all over the place, no one is celebrating my return but it's cool, oblivious dave i guess??, okay these tags are ridiculous i need to stop, people don't really write that, so much kissing just
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-19 03:06:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7342129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xphantomhive/pseuds/caryophyllaceae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave Strider is not in love with John Egbert.</p><p>(Except, he totally is.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	choking on my words again

The first time you meet her, she greets you by licking your face. You’re sure that you pull a face when she does it, because when she pulls away she’s grinning at you. “Where’s that coolkid I know so well? You look a little flustered, coolkid.” She says, flicking your nose with her sharp yellow nails. You brush invisible dust off of your shoulder and make sure that your poker face is in place, and then you say:

“Ain’t flustered. Normal people are a little shocked when a hot alien chick starts licking their face. You got me all hot and bothered, ‘Rezi. You should be proud of yourself.”

Her grin widens, if that’s even possible. She has hair so sharp that you’re pretty sure she could poke someone’s eye out, and she’s wearing a pair of red glasses that you can see yourself reflected in. You wonder, idly, if she can see herself in your shades. “Nice job keeping that trademark cool, coolkid.”

You chuckle. “You almost made me lose it. You’re so hot, I’m afraid I’m gonna die of heatstroke,” you say. You’re swooping in for the kill. That pickup line had gotten you pretty many French kisses, but you aren’t sure if it’s going to work on an alien girl from another planet. “Takin’ all of my air away from me. Gosh, ‘Rez, you’re gonna kill me.”

She laughs like a hyena and touches her hand to your chest. You’re afraid that her nails are going to claw through the fabric of your suit. “I know I’m pretty hot, coolkid,” she says to you, and then she leans in and you’re kissing her. It isn’t long before she cuts you on her razor sharp teeth, but you don’t pull away. In fact, you stay in the kiss for as long as you can before you feel like you can’t breathe, and you break away. “Aww, did I cut your poor fleshy human mouth?” She asks in a mocking tone. You knock your shoulder against hers.

“My fleshy human mouth is fine, thank you very much.”

You date Terezi Pyrope (or, you’re her matesprit, whatever) for exactly three months before she breaks up with you. When you ask her why, she tells you because she’s pretty sure that you have a crush on someone else. When you ask her who, she only grins at you and says, “You’ll figure it out on your own, eventually, coolkid.”

* * *

 

You meet her after three long years, because you aren’t going to count that time you went frog hunting with her because that time there wasn’t much talking. It was mostly fighting. “You look like John,” is the first thing you say to her, and you facepalm yourself mentally. Way to go, Strider. The first thing you say to a pretty girl certainly should not be that she looks like her ectobro, who also happens to be your best bro. “Except, y’know, your eyes aren’t blue.”

She laughs at you. “Dave, you’re such a dork. You see a pretty girl and the first thing you say to her is that she looks like your best friend? Not cool, dude. Not cool.”

You really aren’t sure what to do. You’re clenching your hands pointlessly at your sides, so instead of doing that you put it on her shoulders. There’s a look in her eyes that’s urging you on, and apparently you aren’t fast enough for her because she huffs and leans forward to mesh your lips together. Her kiss is a lot softer than Terezi, but her buckteeth still dig into your lip. She pulls away first, positively beaming at you. “Well, your kissing skills sure hold you up! But I still think you’re a total dork, Dave.”

You date Jade Harley for exactly two months and five days, and when you ask her why she’s breaking up with you she tells you because it’s obvious that you like someone else. Like you had with Terezi, you ask her who it is. She worries her bottom lip, a habit that you had always found cute, but one that you’re hating now. “You really don’t know?” She asks you. You nod your head. Are you supposed to know? Is there like, some big secret to who you like? “Dave, I’m not going to tell you. You have to figure it out on your own.”

* * *

 

As the time players, it’s the job of you and Aradia to take care of all the time-y shit. You notice after a few days that sometimes she smiles at you when you’re not looking; she smiles at you like Jade and Terezi both had, like she’s a pirate and you’re treasure that she wants to dip her filthy hands in. “Why’re you lookin’ at me like that, Aradia?” You ask her one day, and her cheeks flush red. Really dark red. Kind of like rust. You wonder if that’s her blood color.

“What, am I not allowed to admire a hot guy?” She asks, smirking. Aradia is a lot more suave than you would’ve given her credit for. You were thinking she was more or less the type to shy away from confronting her feelings, but apparently, she’s more like you. “I mean, you’re damn fine, Dave. Jussayin.”

You kiss her impulsively, but you feel her smile against your lips nonetheless. She’s the first girl who sneaks you some tongue, and when you pull back, you grin at her. She tastes like strawberries. “Man, maybe you’re cooler than I thought you were.” She says, grinning at you like it’s the funniest thing anyone has ever said. You punch her in the arm and she punches you back.

You date Aradia Megido for five months, and like you had with your previous escapades, you ask her why. Unlike Jade and Terezi, who had seemingly danced around the subject, she is straightforward with you. “You’re a great boyfriend, Dave. It isn’t that. It’s that you’re constantly ogling John? I’m not sure if you notice that you’re doing it, but you do. Dave, I can’t see behind those dumb shades, but I know that you look at him like he’s the best thing to ever walk this earth. You...Dave, I think you love him.”

Your world comes crashing down.

* * *

 

You try to convince yourself that you are not, in fact, head over heels in love with John Egbert. There are a lot of choices for you on the meteor, and you decide that you’ll avoid your best bro like the plague. Besides, wasn’t he no homo as fuck, or something? You can’t remember. Maybe he’d said that a decently long time ago? Your memory isn’t always the best. This time you don’t even hesitate when you kiss your new conquest. You walk right up to him and plant your lips on his, and he jumps back with a shocked look on his face.

“Cripes, Dave, what in the dickens are you doing?” He asks. You bite your lip so that you don’t smile at the things he says. He sounds like such a dork; it’s adorable. You try to pretend that he doesn’t look exactly like your best bro with green eyes.

“Kissin’ you, what does it look like?” You respond.

“Listen, I’ve had problems with your kind before-Striders, I mean. I’ve had problems with Striders. A robot and your brother. I don’t think it’s such a good idea we try out a relationship, Dave. Things with the Striders don’t go well for me.”

You kiss him again and he tries to protest against your lips, but he eventually gives in, and then you are dating Jake English. Rose looks at you like she’s analyzing you whenever you’re walking around holding hands with him, and eventually, you have no choice but to give in to the looks and go over to her and ask, “The fuck are you lookin’ at me for, Lalonde?”

She smiles over her teacup. “Oh, no reason. Perhaps because you’re enamored with Jake English, who happens to look exactly like John Egbert, your best bro. As well as the boy you’re so obviously in love with, of course.”

You groan. “Not this again. I’ve already heard this from Aradia, I don’t need it from you, too.”

Rose hums. “All I’m saying is that they look quite similar, Dave. And that you are in love with John, of course. Simple enough facts, yes?”

“No.” You tell her, and then you walk away.

You date Jake English for exactly seven months before he breaks up with you. When you ask him why, he gives you a shocked look, almost as though he can’t believe you’re asking him that, almost as though it should be obvious. “Dave…” he starts, trailing off and looking down at the ground and up at you. “Don’t you love John? You...well, you sure stare at him a lot.”

All you can think is:  _ fuck. _

* * *

 

You find John in his room, which happens to be conveniently one room down from yours. You barge in on him and don’t even really care what he’s doing - in fact, you don’t even care if he’s whacking it. You’ve got more important things to address. “John, am I in love with you?” Is the first thing out of your mouth as soon as you’ve stepped into his room, and he giggles at you. The giggle is way too cute for yours, as well as his, own good.

“Probably,” is his response. He’s grinning at you. What a little shit. “I mean, you do look at me a lot. You dated my sister and my kind-of-dad, and they both look like me an awful lot. Dave, do you forget that I’m your best bro and that I’m like, binded to your soul and shit? I can feel when you’re looking at me, and I can feel the fact that there’s a hell of a lot of something behind it, that hell of a lot of something probably being love.”

You sit down on his bed and throw your sunglasses off. Frankly, you could give less of a shit if he sees your eyes. He probably won’t even fucking care that they’re red. John Egbert is not the kind of person who worries about eye color. “Fucking fuck,” is the first thing out of your mouth. John giggles at you, but it sounds kind of strangled, like he was trying to hold it in. You feel the bed dip and you know that he’s crawled over to you. His hands are on your back, rubbing in circles. You guess he’s trying to comfort you. “I’m fucking in love with you, aren’t I, Egbert?”

“Yeah, but it’s cool. I’m totally in love with you too, man.”

You want to look up at him, but the inside of your eyelids is a lot less embarrassing than that. You feel his hands on your cheeks as he pulls your face out of your hands and makes you look at him. His eyes are bluer than the fucking ocean. They’re bluer than the ocean and the sky and fuck, if something could win the award for clearest blue his eyes would be it. You could write fucking sonnets about his eyes. “Dave,” he giggles out. “Stop staring at me like a creeper and kiss me already, sheesh. Didn’t your Bro teach you how to be  _ cool _ ?”

You kiss him already.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry i haven't been writing anything and just kind of went ghost for a while! i had a complete mental breakdown; it was not good. i was put in a facility for about two weeks. they had to re-diagnose me because they had the diagnosis wrong. i have general anxiety disorder, unspecified bipolar disorder (i don't fit under any bipolar, but i have a lot of bipolar tendencies) and cluster b personality traits. i take 7 and 1/2 pills a day. it is not good.
> 
> anyway, i'm doing much better now and - here's some gay to sate all of your needs! i love you guys, i doubt you've been wondering where i am or that you're celebrating my return but it's fine. i'm back!


End file.
